my mom asked why i don’t read as many books as i used to and i just said it was because i read a lot of unpublished stories from independent writers online and she thinks that’s very good of me to give undiscovered authors a chance
i just read gay porn
Never stop reblogging this
Tell it! And every Friday the 13th shall be remembered as the day when Bey creeped up like a ghost in the night and slaughtered every single person in the damn game
chris control your goddamn face you have just gone through an extremely painful super-serum transformation you did not just have the diddly doo orgasm
…actually, at this point, Steve’s just now experiencing the sudden absence of both recent extreme pain and long-term low level pain. He’s probably so high on endorphins that the expression is completely accurate.
Also, he was asthmatic. This is the first time in twenty years that his lungs work. Ever had an oxygen high?
for chinese new year they get all these famous actors and comedians together and they do a lil show and one of the comedians was like “i was in a hotel in america once and there was a mouse in my room so i called reception except i forgot the english word for mouse so instead i said ‘you know tom and jerry? jerry is here’
jerry is here
so my mum told me that as a kid she would peel an apple and throw the peel over her shoulder, and the peel would take the shape of the first letter of her future spouse. naturally, i decided to do it and
i’m fucking crying
it says ‘no.’
it literally says NO.
oh my god